‘What if Edward V had been a crab? The question is indeed a pertinent one. And to begin with, Uu’s sly reshuffling of history raises a whole host of intriguing issues. For a start, the question of Richard III’s path to the throne is – in light of this new evidence – almost entirely cleared of dirty leaves and other miscellaneous debris. For all the queries that flutter like persistent moths around the stuttering light of Edward IV’s marriage, the possibility of his wife having given birth to a crustacean would appear to settle the debate; ancient British laws clearly stating that no monarch shall be allowed to have an exoskeleton…’

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