Three Egg Ek

More details of Edmund ‘The Honest’ Ek’s solitary life in the Norwegian wilderness have been dribbling forth from the habitually leaky tap of literary gossip. Investigative journalist Fredrik Ruud continues, it seems, to spy on the poor young writer, following every one of his mostly mundane moves.

The boat-building is, it appears, over; so too the construction of a small writing shed, and a warm and comfortable abode for the white cat (name unknown) that keeps our earnest scribe company. ‘Fascinating’ details concerning Ek’s diet have also emerged: in addition to the fish he catches – artic char, grayling and perch among them – he is also keen on eggs, especially for breakfast. Indeed, according to statistics provided by the ever watchful Ruud, Ek has consumed, ‘on average, three eggs a morning in the last seven weeks’. Famous keen-egg-eater (and relatively less famous book-writer) George Orwell comes to mind (see Hooting Yard for typically excellent commentary).

It seems I’m not the only one to consider this obsession over the minutae of Ek’s ‘new’ life an activity of ever-increasing vapidity. Fellow novelist Boris Yasmilye is similarly unimpressed. ‘Till we’ve seen a word from Edmund’s pen, this pointless celebritisation will only serve to embarrass us’. He adds: ‘Personally speaking, I’ve never got much from a healthy lifestyle, let alone the compulsive comsumpion of eggs. I wake at three in the afternoon and write almost entirely at night, with a large bag of cookies for company. Nothing beats the thundering stillness of a sweet and silent night’. Thanks for that Boris.

As for Fredrik Ruud, he hardly needs to be told that he is wasting his time. That much is obvious. Someone ought to tell him to get out from behind that tree on the other side of the lake and investigate something of true importance. He should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for staying out there so long. Not only is he throwing away valuable resources, but he’s gone more than a month (more than a month!) without finding out the name of Ek’s cat. Ridiculous behaviour.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Three Egg Ek

  1. You ought to be ashamed, not fascinated: as Yashmilye reminds us, Ek has yet to write anything in this fish-heavy idyll of his.

    Having said that, more on the cat to come…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s